water seeping

(no subject)

House/Constantine crossover fic

BEST CRACK EVER.

"You're hovering," House objected to Cameron, "and someone's been buffing your halo." He squinted past her, at Chase. "Not you, obviously, you're much too busy conditioning your hair."
-
"You didn't say he was pretty." House poked a hole in the blinds with the end of his cane. Then made big eyes at Cameron. "No wonder you want to save his soul."

"He's sick," Cameron insisted flatly.

"Of course he is. Just the way you like them."
-
Disappointed, House said, "Shame about the accent. I was expecting something more exotic." He kept his distance. "You aren't going to puke peas on me, are you? Only I hear that's all the rage with you possessed people."

"Jesus," the patient murmured, looking House up and down, "I can't get the cute nurse. Have to get the smartass social worker."
-
"He says I'm an asshole," House informed Wilson as he entered the patient's room.

"Huh." Wilson considered this in his best no-surprises-there manner. "So there's nothing wrong with his cognitive powers, then."
-
Constantine recited: "It was ripped out by his infernal majesty, the prince of darkness."

"Pardon me?"

"Beelzebub. Belial. The father of all lies. Son of perdition. Abaddon."

"A bad 'un?" House echoed.

"Jesus," Constantine sighed, "next time I get sick, someone take me to Las Vegas. Or leave me in the street to die. Anywhere but a hospital."

"Ingrate," House accused.
-
"You're patting your hair."

"Am not." Cuddy tossed her locks.

"Are too."

"Well, he's dishy."

"He's - what?"

"Dishy," Cuddy repeated. "You know, like House thinks he's dishy. And you think you're dishy." She swung back into her office.

"Huh," said Wilson, and went on his way.
-


...I miss Constantine. I want a sequel and more Lucifer. Lucifer is good. :D
  • Current Mood: ecstatic ecstatic
  • Current Music: Kamelot - Karma
Tags: , ,
HEY YOU FOUND THAT FIC TOO XDDDDD

Yes, I found it and I love it muchly. Heeeee.

By Lucifer, d'you mean the other graphic novel series or the character from Constantine?
I mean Lucifer from Constantine. XD That guy had about five minutes screentime, but his dialogue was oh so slashy for those five minutes that he made the whole movie bearable for me. XD
Ohhh, the movie. XD He's not Lucifer, don't call him Lucifer. Say First of the Fallen or whatever. But not Lucifer.
This is where I pause, and contemplate telling you to go read more DC Vertigo graphic novels. Um. He's Lucifer in the movie, and he's Lucifer in earlier Constantine-verse, but he's not Lucifer in DCverse. Don't ask.