Don't ever copy my example and nearly get run over by cars because you're so exhausted you're not seeing straight.
Also, this thread is amazing.
Random fun stuff from work today -
[Kid] Hey teacher, [GIRL] stuck this spoon in her mouth!
[Kid] It's made in china!
[Kid] It could be poisonous!!!
[Me] No, it's cool. She's fine.
O china. Your rep with the kids is hilarious.
[Coworker] I love Angelina Jolie. And my husband is like, "What, are you a lesbian?"
[Coworker] And I say "No. But she's a hot chick"
Moral of the story. Jolie turns women gay.
[Coworker] Dress up as Wonder Woman. With a whip.
[Me] Wonder woman has a lasso not a whip.
[Coworker] Well. Not our version of Wonder Woman.