That fic is doing surprisingly well.
ALso, I'm working on this, but need to wrap it up somehow. Suggestions anyone?
Battle of the Ukes
It was one of those days…the birds were twittering (CS: Twittering? What are you on, LSD?) , the squirrels were looking of nuts, and all was happy and gay…
Well, maybe not happy, but definitely gay.
Kai was in his armchair reading a manga (Gravitation). Why, you ask?
Not a clue.
He began flipping the pages to look for something to read.
When all of the sudden…
Godzilla attacked Baycity!!!
(CS: [looks at script] You’ve got the wrong story!!! Me: Oops)
Okay, so Godzilla did not attack Baycity. He, however has an appointment with King Kong in New York, so if you ever-loyal fans want to catch up with him, New York this time tomorrow!
Anyway, back to the story…
Kai had folded the manga when something struck him.
Kai found himself on the floor and a pair of predatory blue eyes was glaring at him with a pillow. A pillow that looked suspiciously heavy.
Crimson eyes blinked. (And fangirls swoon), “Tyson?”
“No, It’s the Grim Reaper.” (People, he’s joking!!! Do not take anything in this story too seriously!!! It would damage…hey, CS? What can it damage?
CS: Common sense. Me: Oh.)
“Koi, what are you doing?” Kai asks as patiently as he could.
His lover scowled at him and stuck his chin out jauntily, “I’m here to prove I can be seme too!”
(Loud trumpet music in the background)
“Really?” Kai drawled, while wondering where the background music came from (CS whistles innocently)
Then it was Tyson’s turn to meet Mister Floor (CS waves hi to Mister Floor before Timmy drags her away)
He frowned at Kai, “What do you think you’re doing?”
Kai smirked (fangirls swooned again and janitor cleans up the mess of drool), “Proving that I’m the Ultimate Seme.”
“HAYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” Cough, cough (Timmy hands Tyson cough medicine) “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”
Kai found himself on the floor. Again.
Tyson smirked, “Well, look who’s at the bottom again?”
Kai scowled, “Koi…”
Tyson stuck his tongue out (Cue on the fangirls “Aaaahhhhh” Melts into a puddle of goo) at Kai, “Nothing you’re going to say is going to change my mind.”
Kai sighed (traumatic music cued). He wondered if Rei was having this much trouble with Max….
Oh my God!!!
What are they doing?
Maybe we should take a closer look….
That can’t be…
“Please? I really don’t like being tied up!”
Attention all passengers, please notice that the nosebleed sign has been put on for your own safety. Please take your tissues from the author. (Timmy hands out boxes of tissues)
“Well, if I can manage it, so can you!”
(Janitor comes in and cleans up nosebleed mess)
Back to Kai and Tyson…
Kai was not in a good mood.
(Volcanoes erupt in the background)
(CS: It’s supposed to be thunder and lightning…Me: Volcanoes are more original)
He had been dodging traps all morning (with limited success).
How many, you ask?
(Timmy counts on her fingers, “At least 375”
CS: Is there place for that many?
Timmy: Tyson used the cracks in the floor)
So yes, dodging that many traps before lunch can have a bad effect on anyone’s temper.
The fact that it was Tyson who had set all the traps (and that he was spending the morning snickering in the background) was also not doing anything pleasant for Kai’s mood.
“Ty-son!” Kai yelled as he dodged a mattress falling through a hole in the ceiling.
(Timmy: o0 Mattress?
CS: Yup, the best way to get somebody is to use unique ammunition.
Timmy: --; CS, a bed is for sleeping on, not squashing people under.
CS: Don’t look at me; Tyson was the one who set it up!)
“Yes Kai?” Tyson replied from above (where the mattress came from).
“Will you please just get rid of the traps?!?!” Kai pleaded.
“Nope.” Tyson ducked away through the hole in the ceiling.
Kai started to sigh in frustration, but was interrupted by a volley of potatoes being chucked at him from a catapult in the floor (CS: You can’t say that isn’t inventive!)
“Ack!!!” Kai dodged several of the flying vegetables before one managed to hit him right on the forehead.
And he was out for the count.
“Ha!!! Score!” Tyson yelled from the hole in the ceiling (the one the mattress fell through) before dropping down to observe his ‘victory’.
The blue-haired teen took out a small piece of paper from one of his jacket pockets and scribbled a few numbers on it.
“Tyson… fifteen. Kai… zero.”
Satisfied, he replaced the paper and prodded Kai with his foot (Kai was out cold on the floor)
Kai winced, brought a hand up to rub his forehead and glared at his koi. “Just why am I suddenly being used for target practice?”
Tyson smirked at his boyfriend (Timmy: Cue Tyson-fans) “Because I’m proving that I can be seme and that I’m not the weak and inferior half.”
Kai quirked an eyebrow (CS: Cue gushing fangirls again) as Tyson dropped a magazine on his face and went off to set more traps.
Why did Tyson drop the magazine on Kai’s face?
A good way to find out is to look at the cover page.
And that’s what Kai did.
Ukes: The Weaker Sex! (Actually they’re the weaker half of the sex)
Meanwhile in other parts of the anime universe…
“No, I will not wear that!”
“Hey, if I can wear the dog suit, so can you!”
“I promise it won’t hurt Yami! …At least not too much!”
“Ack! Save me!”
“Heero-chan! It’s just a video tape!”
“Leave me alone!”
“Come back here Bakura! Just watch me! I can be sadistic!”
“I believe you! I believe you! Just leave me alone!”
“Kakarott! What the Hell is that?!”
“Come here and I’ll show you Vegeta…”
“Don’t worry Riku. The Keyblade won’t hurt you….too much…”
“Ack! Kamui? What is that?”
“Like you don’t know….”
“But I don’t wanna dye my hair!!!”
“Well, I can’t exactly cut mine, can I Enrique?!”
Back to Beyblade Universe
(Author carries out casualties due to excessive innuendos)
Rei comes back, looking none too worse for the wear.
“Owww….” He said, cradling his head.
He blinks and spots Kai on the floor, reading a certain magazine article.
Kai, wordlessly holds up the article for Rei to see. Rei’s eyes widened in horror.
“Whaaaaat?! Who did this?!”
Kai, still silent, points to the bottom of the article.
Rei reads the bottom and his anger management classes go out the window.
Rei’s eyes blaze. (Timmy holds up fire background. Why? Can’t afford graphics. Sad, but true), “I’m going to kill them!!”
“Actually,” And here, Kai is relatively serious, “I suggest we bring in reinforcements.”
Rei blinks. (Cue Rei fans), “Who?”
Ah, naïve, naïve, Rei….
Kai cackles in his mind.
O_O;; This can’t be good….
“Heh heh heh heh…”
Who is that? Some evil force trying to split up our favorite yaoi couples? Some Ganondorf look-alike wanting to take over the world? Some OC writer taking revenge on us poor pitiful yaoi writers who struggle to protect the good of the world?
Nope, just a couple of deranged muses cackling gleefully.
Nothing to worry about.
Nothing at all.
….Wait a sec….
“This is the best idea you’ve had since….I don’t know when!” CP cackles happily.
“Did you see the size of the mattress Tyson threw at Kai?” CS said, laughing hysterically.
“And the way Max roped Rei?”
(sighs) “They should do that more often.”
O___O This can’t be good……..
(Star Wars Theme)
Suddenly, door bursts open to reveal some scary looking semes, holding up some very, very sharp metallic items.
I think they were steak knives. Oh, look, a cooking fest!
(Angevar: Somehow, I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen)
“YOU!!” The Semes point threateningly at the muses who cower in fear.
Yamato growls (sexy!), “You guys are in for a painful death.”
“We’re going to kill them?” Seto said calmly, “I’M GOING TO DECAPITATE YOU UNTIL THERE ARE NO BODY PARTS TO DECAPITATE!!!!!!!!!!”
“I get the head!” Kai says.
“No fair,” Vegeta groans, “I wanted the head.”
“Well, the arms are mine!” Fuuma said, tightening his grip on his Shinken.
“Hey, what do I get?” Riku demands.
Heero just stands there.
“No, I want the head!”
“Take the legs!”
“You’re dead human!”
“Just try me Saiyan!”
“Kai, I want the head!”
The muses just stare at the carnage the Semes were causing to each other.
(Timmy & Angy: sweatdrop)
The muses decided it was time to flee when the door burst open to reveal…
(Angy & Timmy: WTF?!!!)
Tyson whacks Tai, “You got the wrong theme song!!”
“…Gomen,” Tai said, rubbing his head.
The Semes stare at their respective Ukes, “Um…”
The Ukes noticed their Semes (with respective weapons of mass destruction of course…)
(Timmy: Ukes exit!!)
Tyson: (nods) Much better.
Semes and Muses: (sweatdrop)
-___- Still looking for tintin and transformer yaoi....