PAIRING: Takao x Kai
SUMMARY: "He was too kind a person if he expected those words"
GENRE: ANGST. I swear it's the only thing I can write well.
Three things I remember
Three things I forgot
Three things I took
Three things I lost
Three things I broke
Three things I fixed
Three things I wanted
Three things I’ll never have
1. He slowly shattered the silence with his words. Takao never heard them, but he knew they were said. Takao tightened his grip on the bag and took another step forward. He was still waiting for those words, those words that would mend everything in an instant.
Something, anything to ease the tension away, to shatter the world around them.
He was too kind a person if he expected those words.
Takao took another step forth and said, “Goodbye.”
2. Kai pushed the door. It creaked open revealing…nothing. The sofa was where it should be. The lights were off as they should be. The curtains remained lifeless with the air.
Indeed, what did he expect to see? What was he expecting? Of course it would be empty.
Of course it would be empty.
It didn’t make any sense to him. He can’t recall anything anymore.
It fell from his hand like shards of his eyes.
3. The clock in his room stole away minutes. Takao was certain it stole the essence of time.
There was no other explanation. Time could not be moving this slowly.
Summer should have been here by now. How could this happen?
How had anything of this happen?
Takao pressed his hands against the grandfather clock and he started crying
4. The bed was too big. Too wide and too expansive, it felt like a gaping hole waiting to engulf him in the never ending torrent of footfalls and gaps.
He was falling, he could feel his fingers lose its grip, feel his feet lose their foothold;
see the blue eyes waiting patiently for the cry, the cry for help.
And he screamed all night into his pillow because nobody could hear them.
It hurt that nobody could hear them
5. “Has he spoken to you?”
“How long has it been?”
“What are you going to do?”
“This isn’t right. None of this is right.”
“What are you going to do?”
6. Kai saw him standing on the doorstep. He never stepped in, but he didn’t step away either.
Again, he felt the weight of those eyes. Kai wanted to know what he should say.
Kai wanted to know what he could say. There was an invisible gap between them and it was getting wider every second Kai wasted.
But he didn’t have the words to make things better.
For the second time in Kai’s life, Takao stepped out. And Kai remained where he was.
7. He heard a voice say, “You did what? Why?” It was a crucial question that bordered on his insanity.
He heard that question bounce on the walls of his mind. And he couldn’t answer. The hands strangled him and he saw those eyes watching him. He was crying and he was choking. He wanted to breathe but he wanted to die as well. The grip on his throat grew stronger. God, where was the release. He couldn’t-he couldn’t take this anymore. But the words were still missing and the clock was ticking.
8. Takao opened the door to see Kai standing. Not quite inside, yet not quite outside either.
Takao steeled himself, but he wavered the moment he opened the door. The sun was quiet with murmurs and the air alive with whisperings. But no words were spoken and Takao heard the clock ticking in the back of his mind.
Something happened. The floodgates broke and Kai stepped inside.
Time stopped. Words were never uttered, but time understood.
God, this song is stuck in my head...
x-posted at tysonxkai