Daphne in the wood (bromantic) wrote,
Daphne in the wood
bromantic

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House/Constantine crossover fic

BEST CRACK EVER.

"You're hovering," House objected to Cameron, "and someone's been buffing your halo." He squinted past her, at Chase. "Not you, obviously, you're much too busy conditioning your hair."
-
"You didn't say he was pretty." House poked a hole in the blinds with the end of his cane. Then made big eyes at Cameron. "No wonder you want to save his soul."

"He's sick," Cameron insisted flatly.

"Of course he is. Just the way you like them."
-
Disappointed, House said, "Shame about the accent. I was expecting something more exotic." He kept his distance. "You aren't going to puke peas on me, are you? Only I hear that's all the rage with you possessed people."

"Jesus," the patient murmured, looking House up and down, "I can't get the cute nurse. Have to get the smartass social worker."
-
"He says I'm an asshole," House informed Wilson as he entered the patient's room.

"Huh." Wilson considered this in his best no-surprises-there manner. "So there's nothing wrong with his cognitive powers, then."
-
Constantine recited: "It was ripped out by his infernal majesty, the prince of darkness."

"Pardon me?"

"Beelzebub. Belial. The father of all lies. Son of perdition. Abaddon."

"A bad 'un?" House echoed.

"Jesus," Constantine sighed, "next time I get sick, someone take me to Las Vegas. Or leave me in the street to die. Anywhere but a hospital."

"Ingrate," House accused.
-
"You're patting your hair."

"Am not." Cuddy tossed her locks.

"Are too."

"Well, he's dishy."

"He's - what?"

"Dishy," Cuddy repeated. "You know, like House thinks he's dishy. And you think you're dishy." She swung back into her office.

"Huh," said Wilson, and went on his way.
-


...I miss Constantine. I want a sequel and more Lucifer. Lucifer is good. :D
Tags: ipimp, linkage, zomg
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