I gave Wolf's Rain fanfiction a shot. Not romance or anything. Just a drabble fby dear Toboe. A little too deep though.
Life isn’t a picnic, you know? With all the humans and all, it’s a wonder we’re still as optimistic as we were. You know, looking for a
The world isn’t a dried up shell either. There are places that steal away your breath and their light seems to wipe away the sins in your heart. Lira…I really liked you. Maybe more than I should. It was stupid of me. Kiba warned me of course. He told me that humans fear what they can’t understand. Humans like being in control, whether it be nature or time. They want to hold it in their palm and clench. But it doesn’t work that way because sooner or later, the power will trickle away from your clenched hand and you will wonder, ‘Was there any there in the first place’
Nothing, but the trail of sand in the wind, blowing to find its way. Just like us.
Tsume has been with humans almost as long as I have and he understands some of the things I try to explain to the others. Kiba doesn’t know humans the way we do. He’s wild, not tamed, no domesticated. Maybe that’s why he’s our leader.
Pride’s not a weakness. Close, but not nearly the mark.
I’m lonely. I have Tsume, Kiba and even Hige, but even then you know? I mean, …I’m being selfish. They’re more than I would have had ever if I was still in that city. But on those cold night that cut the bone and make you wish for those humans quilts and beds, I wish I was with Grandma and her warm chocolate smiles and amber eyes that dazzled me and made me laugh. It was such a funny colour for a human to have. Wolf-gold, I called it and we both would laugh about it.
It’s so lovely, isn’t it .Those memories I have. If they had a physical form, I think they would be like pearls draped over my neck like a necklace. Necklaces aren’t only for girls, right? I think Tsume has some necklaces that have teeth in them. That’s creepy. I don’t want that kind of necklace.
Grandma…I killed you. I didn’t mean to. Does this mean…I can’t go to heaven? People told me Heaven is a place only for humans. I don’t want to believe that. God is a nice person right? He believes in all of us, right?
I want to go to Heaven and meet you Grandma. Then I can apologize. For being bad. That’s what it is right? Do you think that things will fix itself if I was forgiven.
I’m sorry. I’m dragging everyone down, aren’t I?
Tsume heard my story about my grandma. He just shook it off. Like he didn’t care .Maybe he didn’t. Maybe it doesn’t matter to him. But it still matters to me. Should it? Should I let it go?
I’m lost. We’re lost.
Kiba…how do you manage? You’re always so lonely. You never talked much and your eyes were blue pools of shadow. Tsume’s eyes are the wolf-gold of my grandma and Hige’s was the sunflower yellow or is that the same as butter yellow? I’ve never seen sunflowers, so I don’t know. My eyes are so dull, so bland like the dusty human roads.
“Toboe, why are you still awake?” A lone almost agitated voice called out to him, “It’s night.”
Toboe looked back at those blue eyes that seemed so fathomless.
Maybe there is some beauty left in this world. Maybe there are things the humans can’t take away from us. I’ll protect this beauty, this life. I don’t want to be lonely anymore.
“I’m looking at the moon,” Toboe answered pertinently, “It’s a lovely night.”
Those fathomless pools dissolved into a warm look, like the blankets his Grandma had, “Of course. It is a full moon tonight.”