Apparently I was Link and I was leaving the water temple (despite not finishing the boss). Epona could talk (Epona was bit of coward for some reason), Kairi was Princess Zelda and Dracula was there.
Yes, Dracula.
Then Dracula kidnapped Kairi, I went there, got attacked by a gazillion bats, ran away. Then Link got dancing lessons so that he could beat the Water Temple boss.
....
Yeah, I've got nothing.