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Must get.....creative juices flowing...

Here's ACT ONE SCENE ONE of my Romeo and Juliet parody. There's shouene-ai, tutus and lots more! I nned opinions!



Romy + Julie
By Ayesha
NOTES:

-_-/ ^___^/ @___@/ / *~*/ etc = are faces
-_- = is when the person says something obvious or stupid
^____^ = is when the person is happy
@___@ = is when the person is dazed
= is when the person is being sarcastic
*~* = is when the person is angry
o0 = is when the person is a little…er…shoked?
O____O = is when the person is majorly shocked
>< = is when the person is irritated
;____; = is when the person is sad.
Facefault: When someone says an incredibly stupid answer/question/ etc.

Characters:
Romeo = Romy
Benvolio = Benjamin
Tybalt = Tybin
Juliet = Julie
Rosaline = Rosie
Friar Laurence = Fred Law
Prince Escalus = Mayor Evan
Paris = Pat
Mercutio = Merry
Nurse = Nanny
Capulets = Cats
Montagues = Wolves


Chorus

Two gangs, messed up and drunk
They were all stupid punks
They hated each other
Probably ‘cause their mother
Went and slept with the other guy
That’s probably why

So two students who were young slobs
Who belonged to each of these two mobs
One to the Wolves, the Other to the Cats
And that’s that!

Now follow this story as their lives unfold today
And you better not think of running away!

ACT 1 SCENE 1
* * * * * * * * * * * *

Cat member #1: This place is so boring…
Cat member # 2: Let’s go mug someone! That’s fun!!!
Cat Member #1: Nah. I know! Let’s go mug one of those wolves!!!
Cat Member #2: Wolves don’t have pockets. They don’t even have pants…
Cat Member #1: -_-;; I was referring to the Gang.
Cat Member #2: Oh.

Wolf Member #1: Oh God, it’s a cat.
Wolf Member #2: I don’t see any cats.
Wolf Member #1: I was referring to the gang.
Wolf Member # 2: Oh.

*They glare at each other for five whole minutes*

Wolf Member #1: *thinks* Stupid Cat…Get yourself a pair of glasses!!
Cat Member #1: *thinks* Does he have any idea how tiny his eyes are?
Wolf Member #2: *thinks* I don’t wanna play eye spy anymore!!!
Cat Member #2: *thinks* This guy has an interesting spot near his chin…no, that’s just ketchup.

Wolf Member #1: That’s it!!!!!!!! Let’s fight!!!
Cat Member #1: With what?
Wolf Member #2: ^_^ I know!!!!
*They all grab themselves a pair of pencils and erasers*
Wolf Member #1: *brandishing his pencil* En garde!
Cat Member #1: …What he said.
Wolf Member #2: I always knew pencils were dangerous. But nooooo, we had to use them in school.
Cat Member #2: OW! My pencil poked my eye!
*They fight heatedly with their pencils and erasers (they tried to draw moustaches on each other) until Benjamin shows up, wearing very tight leather pants*
Benjamin: *is very uncomfortable* This stuff itches!! Hey!! *sees the fight* What do you think you guys are doing?!
Cat Member #1: No duh what we’re doing. Isn’t it obvious?
Benjamin: Yeah, but my script made me say it.
Wolf Member #2: We have scripts?

Benjamin: Well, you guys better stop.
Cat Member #1: Why?
Benjamin: Because the sky is so high and you’re born in the month of July in 1969.
Cat Member #1: …That explains a lot…*thinks to himself, ‘How did he know my birthday?’*
Cat Member #2: But I was born in December in 1996.
*They were about to stop when Tybin shows up*
Tybin: *waves at audience* Am I or am I not amazing?
Audience: Not.

Tybin: Hey, it’s a wolf!!
Benjamin: Really? Where?
Tybin: I was talking about you.
Benjamin: Oh.
Tybin: Do you know I hate you?
Benjamin: *sniffs and starts crying* WAHHHH!!! You’re soooooo mean!!!! What did I ever do to you?!!!!
Tybin: o0 I didn’t realize it would hit him so hard.
*Finally Benjamin’s wailing was starting to bug everybody*
Tybin: *feels very guilty and uncomfortable* Hey, um…I’m sorry okay? I hate to say that. It was in my script. Nothing personal….
Wolf Member #2: How come I never got a script?
Benjamin: *sniffles* Really?
Tybin: Really.
Benjamin: ^____^ I knew you were a softie!!!*hugs Tybin*
Tybin: o0 *pushes Benjamin off* I said sorry, but don’t pray for miracles…
Benjamin: ^_____^

Tybin: *clears throat* Back to business. I hate you and I hate hotdogs, pink and annoying midgets.
Benjamin: Hotdogs?
Tybin: Hotdogs. Now let’s fight!!!
Benjamin: Does anybody have a spare pencil and eraser?
*They managed to find spare pencils and erasers. They start fighting*
Benjamin lovers: GO BENJY!!!!!!!
Tybin lovers: YAY TY!!!!!!!!!!
Benjamin lovers: BENJY!!!!
Tybin lovers: TY!!!!
*They start glaring at each other*
Benjamin lovers: *growl* BENJY.
Tybin lovers: *also growl* TY.
*They start their own fight. Benjamin and Tybin pause to look at their fans*
Benjamin: o0
Tybin: o0

*They shrug and continue their fighting. The leader of the Wolves and the Cats show up*
Leader Wolf: A fight? How come no one told me?!!! Now where’s my stick?
Leader Cat: *grumbles* They always start the fun without me…
*Then the Mayor Evan shows up*

Mayor Evan: *wearing a long flowing pink cape with little hearts on them. He sees the Wolves and the Cats fighting and rubs his forehead* Again? Can’t you guys get along? This is the third time this week. If this continues, the next person who starts a fight will be banned from…
*Everyone stops their fight and waits with baited breath*
Mayor Evan: Going to the hairdresser and having manicures!!! They would have to cut their own hair and so on!!!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mayor Evan: *sweeps his cloak* Toodles. *tries to make a majestic exit, but trips over his cloak*
*Everyone leaves but Benjamin, who waves a teary farewell to Tybin and Leader Wolf, who can’t seem to find his stick*
Benjamin: Hi Uncle!
Leader Wolf: Hey. Do you know what’s wrong with Romy?
Benjamin: Apart from the fact he got up at two in the morning, began writing love poems to a statue, and ran away to the woods to play hide-and-seek with Tony?
Leader Wolf: Who’s Tony?
Benjamin: His imaginary friend.

Leader Wolf: Well, could you talk to him? He’s been acting weird.
Benjamin: Weird?
Leader Wolf: Weirder than usual.
Benjamin: Oh.
Leader Wolf: So?
Benjamin: Ya, I’ll talk to him. I’ve got nothing else to do at the moment…
Leader Wolf: Cool. Smell you later!!! *walks off hobbling and banging into walls. He didn’t find his stick*
Benjamin: Well, better go and find Romy!

Romy: Is it morning?
Benjamin: The sun is up, so I guess its morning.
Romy: Oh, but the world seemed such a darker place in my eyes!
The light has faded and times passes by and by
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love, the love, the love?
Benjamin: *thinks* I have to hide that ‘Black Eyed Peas’ CD. It isn’t healthy for a guy.
Romy: *still singing off-key*
People killing, people dying,
Children hurt, and hear them crying
Would you practice what you preach?
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father, Father, Father, Help us
Send some guidance from above
‘Cuz people got me, got me questioning
Where is the love?

Benjamin: o0; That’s scary…
Romy: *finishes singing*
Benjamin: And horribly off-key too.
Romy: So, why are you here?
Benjamin: Romy, are you in love?
Romy: *gasps audibly* How could you tell?
Benjamin: -_-;;; I think it was the off-key singing.
Romy: Oh. Yeah, I’m in love.
Benjamin: With who?
Romy: I’m….
Benjamin: *waits*
Romy: …in….
Benjamin: *still waiting*
Romy: ….love…
Benjamin: *STILL waiting*
Romy: ….with….
Benjamin: *is getting irritated*
Romy: …a…
Benjamin: *thoroughly irritated*
Romy: ….woman!
Benjamin: *facefaults*

Benjamin: What kind of idiot do you take me for? I’m not *that* thick.
Romy: Well…
Benjamin: What’s her name?
Romy: Rosie…
Benjamin: Cool. So what’s wrong?
Romy: *extremely distraught* She refuses to slee—love me!!! She wants to grow up and become a…a….
Benjamin: A what?
Romy: …nun!
Benjamin: *pats Romy’s back* Well, they’re plenty of fish in the sea.
Romy: But, Rosie is a flower!!! And she doesn’t live in the sea!!!
Benjamin: …You take things way too literally…

Benjamin: Anyway, Romy. Forget about Rosie. She wasn’t that great a girl anyway.
Romy: Buy you don’t even know her!! She’s the light of my life, the fire in my torch
(Actual song: Fallin’ in love with you by UB40)
And why it may seem
Only fools like me
But I can’t help
Fallin’ in love with you

Benjamin: I think that’s enough singing for one scene.
Romy: Just wait for the next scene!
Benjamin: -_-;; This play going to turn out like a musical by the time he’s through.



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