And he's going to hold it over my head 'till I get out of school and get into college.
Fuck, sooner or later I really have to start bothering about this. ><
Still doing crack pairings. ^__^ Thought you'd want to see the rest. For those who don't know, this is an example
Sanzo x Hakkai
Sanzo: *shoots him*
Sanzo: Much better.
Konzen x Goku
Goku: Ne Konzen…
Goku: What does pedophilia mean?
Konzen: …come back in twenty years and I’ll tell you.
Harry Potter x Ron Weasley
Harry: Ron, you’re my best friend, that’s why I fell in love with you.
Ron: …Blimey. I’m pretty sure J.K was not expecting THAT.
Harry: J.K Rowling did not expect this kind of fanfiction either
Ban x Kazuki
Ban: (insert blatant sarcasm) Wow. You’re effeminate.
Ban: And what’s with the hair?
Kazuki: I KNOW OKAY?! I’M STEREOTYPED AS A FRIGGIN’ GIRL WHO ALWAYS NEEDS TO BE RESCUED AND FALLS IN A HORRIBLY MUSHY ROMANCE WITH YOU!!! HAPPY?
Ban: ….I’m gay…
Goku x Gojyo
Goku: Can I eat you?
Gojyo: O___O NO!!!!
Kai x Rei
Rei: Let’s talk about some meaningless thing so that it leads to emotional I’m-such-an-angst-machine sex and me acting like a pathetic depressed uke. What do you say?
Rei: I thought so.
Rei x Mao
Rei: I love you.
Mao: Me too.
Rin: >< Not in public please!!!
Spike x Faye
Faye: You annoy me.
Faye: And you’re irritating.
Faye: Wanna go on a meaningful date and sound scarily OOC?
Faye: I love you.
Sanzo x Goku
Sanzo: … *twitching*
Gokue: But Saaaanzoooo!
Sanzo: Okay fine! We can have sex tonight! My cold front is just an act to get those freaky authors off our backs.
Jet x Faye
Faye: But you’re older that me. A lot older.
Jet: Since when has that stopped the fangirls?
Faye: …Good point.
Faye x Ed
Ed: Beautiful Viewtiful Girly Swirly!
Faye: …Are you hitting on me?
Homura x Goku
Homura: I want you
Goku: Hmm…will you get me meatbuns for dinner?
Goku: ^__^ Yay! *jumps into Homura’s arms* Take me now!
(author pauses to laugh hysterically)
Zoro x Sanji
Sanji: I hate you
Sanji: Shit, I forgot that in fangirl language hate = love
Ginji x Natsumi
Natsumi: Hey Ginji-san?
Natsumi: Go out with me?
Ginji: O__O But you’re still in high school! Plus, you’re a girl!
Natsumi: I’ll make you sandwiches.
Ginji: …So when do we leave?
Ban x Himiko
Himiko: I hate you. You killed my brother.
Himiko: Yet I feel the urge to bear your children because we share that dark mysterious past that gives fangirls over-active plot bunnies.
Ban: *irritated* Look, how many times do I have to tell them that I’m gay?!
Ginji x Akabane
Akabane: Hello Ginji-kun *purrs*
Ginji: A-Akabane-san! You creep me out!
Akabane: Oh I’m sorry. Want me to profess my undying love to or ravage you senseless when you go to sleep?
Ginji: *mutters* And that’s even creepier.
Kazuki x Juubei
Kazuki: Juubei, I want to have sex tonight. With bondage. Oh! And Vanilla lube!
Juubei: *sighs* As you wish Kazuki-sama. But can we have strawberry instead?
Homura x Konzen
Homura: Do I even know you?
Fudou x Ban
Fudou: Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban!
Ban: (insert sarcasm) Oh yes, that’s a real turn-on.
Sephiroth x Cloud:
Sephiroth: Come here Cloud.
Cloud: *whimpers, but comes closer*
Sephiroth: That’s a good bitch.
Muraki x Tsuzuki
Muraki: You know, I originally wanted your body so that I may plant my dead brother’s head on it and torture him, but I’ve fallen in deep passionate love with you.
Tsuzuki: *sighs* I guess I have no choice, so I must submit like the good uke I am, despite the fact I’m the most powerful Shinigami.
Muraki: Good. Want to see my doll collection?
Yugi x Yami
*start making out*
Sephiroth x Vincent
Sephiroth: Wanna make out?
Sephiroth: I guess not.
Lloyd x Kratos
Kratos: I have to say it…Lloyd, I’m your father.
Lloyd: Kratos, we’ve been over this before. Incest of any sort does not deter the fangirls!
Zelos x Lloyd
Zelos: Here I am, the irresistible playboy and yet I’m hopelessly attracted to the clueless brunette over there.
Lloyd: …Who exactly are you talking about? Genis?
Tsuzuki x Hisoka
Tsuzuki: I get dibs being the uke!
Hisoka: No, I get dibs!
Hisoka: No, me!
Tsuzuki: …Want ice-cream?
Hisoka: Sure. And I get to be uke.
Dougan x Sanzo
Dougan: I love you, worship you. I belong to you, Sanzo-sama—
Sanzo: *shoots him*
Sanzo: These idiots don’t give up, do they?
Tyson x Kai:
Tyson: I love you because I’ll always be there and I’ll be by your side.
Kai: That’s nice…now, how do I detach you?
Max x Rei
Max: I’m the hyper uke! Love me and my adorable-ness!
Rei: *sighs* I hate being seme
Max: You poor soul. Do you want to be on the bottom this time?
Rei: You really mean it? I love you Max!!
Max: No need to go overboard now…
Gojyo x Sanzo
Gojyo: Wanna do it?
Sanzo: You’re asking me?!
Gojyo: …You’re right… *rapes him*
Goku x Nataku
Nataku: Hey, you’re a heretic like me and for some strange reason I am attracted to you despite the fact we’re only ten.
Goku: Gee, I don’t know. Konzen gets awfully twitchy about stuff like this.
Nataku: Don’t worry. I’ll go into a coma soon, so no one will know.
Homura x Rinrei
Homura: Rinrei…my beloved Rinrei….
Rinrei’s ghost: Look love, I’m dead. Could you get over it already?
Homura: If you say so. Oh Go~ku!
Rinrei’s Ghost: ….
Ban x Shido
Ban: Don’t I hate your guts?
Shido: Remember the fangirl formula Ban. Hate = love when done right.
Ban: Okay. But don’t bite too hard.
Akabane x Kagami
Kagami: Wow. I’m attracted to the scary guy with a black coat and hat.
Akabane: So am I. Want to play with my scalpels?
Natsuhiko x Ginji
Natsuhiko: I-I love you Ginji
Natsuhiko: *turns into Miroku* DIE!
Ginji: O__O Eep!
Makubex x Sakura
Sakura: *Walks in*
Sakura: …Don’t you get tired of that?
Makubex: Yeah. Wanna have sex?
Shido x Emishi
Shido: I told you, I have a girlfriend!
Emishi: But Shido-kun!
Shido: …Fine. Just to get you to shut up.
Vash x Knives
Knives: I’m that possessive brother who wants to kill all humans and make you suffer.
Vash: …And I’m supposed to fall in love with you after all that?
Vash: Fine. Only because Wolfwood’s not here anymore.
Vash x Wolfwood
Wolfwood: I was sent by your psychotic brother to kill you, but I indivertibly fall in meaningful love with you.
Vash: …That’s almost as bad as Knives’ reason.
Wolfwood: Yeah, but I’m the good guy. Plus I have donuts!
Vash: I love you! Let’s go for it!
Wolfwood x Midvalley
Wolfwood: Did we ever meet?
Wolfwood: Then how did they pair us up?
Midvalley: Alternate universes my friend, alternate universes.
Legato x Knives
Knives: I want you to make Vash suffer. Oh, and die for me ‘cause I hate all humans.
Legato: Your wish is my command. Want to have sex with me?
Knives: Did you miss the whole ‘I-hate-humans’ bit?
Vash x Meryl
Meryl: I love you.
Vash: I would to, except you look like Rem. And there’s no way in Hell I’m marrying my childhood idol. That’s like incest!!!
Meryl: You don’t mind Knives though.
Vash: …That’s different
Meryl x Knives
Meryl: I love you despite the fact you’re a murdering psychopath who wants to wipe out all life.
Knives: Did you also miss the whole I-hate-the-humans bit?
Tsume x Toboe
Toboe: Hey Tsume!
Tsume: Not interested.
Toboe: Please Tsume?
Tsume: Kid, you’re male. Plus, you’re underage.
Roy x Ed
Roy: Hello Elric-kun *purrs*
Roy: I live to piss you off, but I’m attracted to you. How’s that?
Ed: …I was hoping for something more romantic.
Legato x Wolfwood (popular guy isn’t he?)
Legato: Hello. I wanna have sex with you.
Wolfwood: Not interested in psychic freaks that lick their own skin (A/N: He did this!!)
Legato: That’s fine. Non-con works wonders. *rapes him*
Legato x Midvalley
Legato: Why, hello Midvalley.
Legato: *rapes him*
Midvalley: Could you at least warn me before you do that!
Spike x Vicious
Spike: How did this happen?
Vicious: The odd mysterious past that made me want to kill you.
Spike: I thought that was because of Julia?
Vicious: I tried to kill her. You think I’d go back to her?!
Spike: Good point.
Vicious x Gren
Vicious: I’m getting tired of this.
Gren: The mysterious past plot-bunnies strike back.
Hakkai x Gojyo
Hakkai: Oh my God, the sexy playboy is hitting on me! I must submit!
Gojyo: …I just said hey…
Bladebreakers x OC
OC (or Mary/Angel/Joanne/Sam/Destiny/Aisha): I love you ‘cause I share that mysterious past that makes no sense at all.
Bladebreakers: Stay away from us!! *heads for the hills*
Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy
Harry: I know, I know. The hate = love formula, right?
Draco: Glad to know you’re quick on the uptake Potter
Harry Potter x Voldemort/Tom Riddle
Voldemort: My thoughts exactly Potter.
Harry Potter x Hermione
Harry: Am I really that easy?
Hermione: Well, you do have a whole series in your name.
Harry: …But seriously, am I really that easy?
Harry Potter x Severus Snape
Harry: Isn’t this like…pedophilia?
Snape: If incest doesn’t deter them, do you think this will?
Harry Potter x Lucius Malfoy
Harry: Didn’t you attack me with a cane in the second movie?
Lucius: (drawls) Why Potter, I didn’t know you were so kinky.
Harry: …Isn’t this still pedophilia?
Lucius: Yes unfortunately. You being Draco’s age doesn’t help either.
Kenren x Tenpou:
Tenpou: Well, they already think we’re sleeping together, so who’s there to stop us?
Kenren: I like the way you think.
Shuuei x Sanzo:
Shuuei: The author going through her pedophilia streak, isn’t she?
Sanzo: Don’t even go there.
Gonou x Kanan:
Gonou: …kinda defeats the purpose…
Hakkai x Yaone:
Hakkai: Yaone, I love you because you act like my previous lover who killed herself because she was raped and impregnated by a youkai. Oh, and I am a mass murderer.
Yaone: (not even paying attention) Kougaiji-sama…
Kougaiji x Yaone:
Lirin: I think I’m going to be sick…
Goku x Lirin
Goku: Wanna get some nikuman?
Lirin: I love you!
Goku: …okay. Wanna get some nikuman?
I feel the urge to post fics. Why? I'm bored, simple enough. Stuck with my parents for the vacation (and the rest of my life) doesn't sound very nice.