Daphne in the wood (bromantic) wrote,
Daphne in the wood

  • Music:
I need to shift all my work from one laptop to another laptop. Why? 'Cause my dad was feeling reckless and thought he could waste money buying me a new laptop even though I DIDN'T ASK FOR ONE.

And he's going to hold it over my head 'till I get out of school and get into college.

Fuck, sooner or later I really have to start bothering about this. ><

Still doing crack pairings. ^__^ Thought you'd want to see the rest. For those who don't know, this is an example

Sanzo x Hakkai

Sanzo: *glare*
Hakkai: *smile*
Sanzo: *glare*
Hakkai: *smile*
Sanzo: *shoots him*
Hakkai: X____x
Sanzo: Much better.

Konzen x Goku

Goku: Ne Konzen…
Konzen: Nanda?
Goku: What does pedophilia mean?
Konzen: …come back in twenty years and I’ll tell you.

Harry Potter x Ron Weasley

Harry: Ron, you’re my best friend, that’s why I fell in love with you.
Ron: …Blimey. I’m pretty sure J.K was not expecting THAT.
Harry: J.K Rowling did not expect this kind of fanfiction either

Ban x Kazuki

Ban: (insert blatant sarcasm) Wow. You’re effeminate.
Kazuki: >____<
Ban: And what’s with the hair?
Kazuki: >_____<
Ban: And—
Ban: ….I’m gay…

Goku x Gojyo

Goku: Can I eat you?
Gojyo: O___O NO!!!!

Kai x Rei

Rei: Let’s talk about some meaningless thing so that it leads to emotional I’m-such-an-angst-machine sex and me acting like a pathetic depressed uke. What do you say?
Kai: ……………
Rei: I thought so.

Rei x Mao

Rei: I love you.
Mao: Me too.
Rei: *sparklies*
Mao: *sparklies*
Rin: >< Not in public please!!!

Spike x Faye

Faye: You annoy me.
Spike: ………
Faye: And you’re irritating.
Spike: ………
Faye: Wanna go on a meaningful date and sound scarily OOC?
Spike: *snore*
Faye: I love you.

Sanzo x Goku

Goku: Saaanzoooo!
Sanzo: … *twitching*
Goku: Saaaanzooo!
Sanzo: Urusai!
Gokue: But Saaaanzoooo!
Sanzo: Okay fine! We can have sex tonight! My cold front is just an act to get those freaky authors off our backs.
Goku: *grins*

Jet x Faye

Faye: But you’re older that me. A lot older.
Jet: Since when has that stopped the fangirls?
Faye: …Good point.

Faye x Ed

Ed: Beautiful Viewtiful Girly Swirly!
Faye: …Are you hitting on me?
Ed: ^__________^
Faye: …Okay…

Homura x Goku

Homura: I want you
Goku: Hmm…will you get me meatbuns for dinner?
Homura: Sure.
Goku: ^__^ Yay! *jumps into Homura’s arms* Take me now!

(author pauses to laugh hysterically)

Zoro x Sanji

Sanji: I hate you
Zoro: Likewise
Sanji: Shit, I forgot that in fangirl language hate = love
Zoro: …

Ginji x Natsumi

Natsumi: Hey Ginji-san?
Ginji: Yeah?
Natsumi: Go out with me?
Ginji: O__O But you’re still in high school! Plus, you’re a girl!
Natsumi: I’ll make you sandwiches.
Ginji: …So when do we leave?

Ban x Himiko

Himiko: I hate you. You killed my brother.
Ban: So?
Himiko: Yet I feel the urge to bear your children because we share that dark mysterious past that gives fangirls over-active plot bunnies.
Ban: *irritated* Look, how many times do I have to tell them that I’m gay?!

Ginji x Akabane

Akabane: Hello Ginji-kun *purrs*
Ginji: A-Akabane-san! You creep me out!
Akabane: Oh I’m sorry. Want me to profess my undying love to or ravage you senseless when you go to sleep?
Ginji: *mutters* And that’s even creepier.

Kazuki x Juubei

Kazuki: Juubei, I want to have sex tonight. With bondage. Oh! And Vanilla lube!
Juubei: *sighs* As you wish Kazuki-sama. But can we have strawberry instead?

Homura x Konzen

Homura: Ummm…
Konzen: Yeah?
Homura: Do I even know you?

Fudou x Ban

Fudou: Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban! Midou Ban!
Ban: (insert sarcasm) Oh yes, that’s a real turn-on.

Sephiroth x Cloud:

Sephiroth: Come here Cloud.
Cloud: *whimpers, but comes closer*
Sephiroth: That’s a good bitch.

Muraki x Tsuzuki

Muraki: You know, I originally wanted your body so that I may plant my dead brother’s head on it and torture him, but I’ve fallen in deep passionate love with you.
Tsuzuki: *sighs* I guess I have no choice, so I must submit like the good uke I am, despite the fact I’m the most powerful Shinigami.
Muraki: Good. Want to see my doll collection?

Yugi x Yami

Yugi: Yami….
Yami: Yugi….
Yugi: Yami….
Yami: Yugi….
*start making out*

Sephiroth x Vincent

Sephiroth: Wanna make out?
Vincent: *angsts*
Sephiroth: I guess not.

Lloyd x Kratos

Kratos: I have to say it…Lloyd, I’m your father.
Lloyd: Kratos, we’ve been over this before. Incest of any sort does not deter the fangirls!
Kratos: …Damn.

Zelos x Lloyd

Zelos: Here I am, the irresistible playboy and yet I’m hopelessly attracted to the clueless brunette over there.
Lloyd: …Who exactly are you talking about? Genis?

Tsuzuki x Hisoka

Tsuzuki: I get dibs being the uke!
Hisoka: No, I get dibs!
Tsuzuki: Me!
Hisoka: No, me!
Tsuzuki: …Want ice-cream?
Hisoka: Sure. And I get to be uke.

Dougan x Sanzo

Dougan: I love you, worship you. I belong to you, Sanzo-sama—
Sanzo: *shoots him*
Dougan: X_____x
Sanzo: These idiots don’t give up, do they?

Tyson x Kai:

Tyson: I love you because I’ll always be there and I’ll be by your side.
Kai: That’s nice…now, how do I detach you?

Max x Rei

Max: I’m the hyper uke! Love me and my adorable-ness!
Rei: *sighs* I hate being seme
Max: You poor soul. Do you want to be on the bottom this time?
Rei: You really mean it? I love you Max!!
Max: No need to go overboard now…

Gojyo x Sanzo

Gojyo: Wanna do it?
Sanzo: You’re asking me?!
Gojyo: …You’re right… *rapes him*

Goku x Nataku

Nataku: Hey, you’re a heretic like me and for some strange reason I am attracted to you despite the fact we’re only ten.
Goku: Gee, I don’t know. Konzen gets awfully twitchy about stuff like this.
Nataku: Don’t worry. I’ll go into a coma soon, so no one will know.
Goku: Cool!

Homura x Rinrei

Homura: Rinrei…my beloved Rinrei….
Rinrei’s ghost: Look love, I’m dead. Could you get over it already?
Homura: If you say so. Oh Go~ku!
Rinrei’s Ghost: ….

Ban x Shido

Ban: Don’t I hate your guts?
Shido: Remember the fangirl formula Ban. Hate = love when done right.
Ban: Okay. But don’t bite too hard.

Akabane x Kagami

Kagami: Wow. I’m attracted to the scary guy with a black coat and hat.
Akabane: So am I. Want to play with my scalpels?

Natsuhiko x Ginji

Natsuhiko: I-I love you Ginji
Ginji: Natsuhiko…
Natsuhiko: *turns into Miroku* DIE!
Ginji: O__O Eep!

Makubex x Sakura

Makubex: *angst*
Sakura: *Walks in*
Makubex: *angst*
Sakura: …Don’t you get tired of that?
Makubex: Yeah. Wanna have sex?

Shido x Emishi

Emishi: Shido-kun!
Shido: I told you, I have a girlfriend!
Emishi: But Shido-kun!
Shido: …Fine. Just to get you to shut up.

Vash x Knives

Knives: I’m that possessive brother who wants to kill all humans and make you suffer.
Vash: …And I’m supposed to fall in love with you after all that?
Knives: Yeah.
Vash: Fine. Only because Wolfwood’s not here anymore.

Vash x Wolfwood

Wolfwood: I was sent by your psychotic brother to kill you, but I indivertibly fall in meaningful love with you.
Vash: …That’s almost as bad as Knives’ reason.
Wolfwood: Yeah, but I’m the good guy. Plus I have donuts!
Vash: I love you! Let’s go for it!

Wolfwood x Midvalley

Wolfwood: Did we ever meet?
Midvalley: No.
Wolfwood: Then how did they pair us up?
Midvalley: Alternate universes my friend, alternate universes.

Legato x Knives

Knives: I want you to make Vash suffer. Oh, and die for me ‘cause I hate all humans.
Legato: Your wish is my command. Want to have sex with me?
Knives: Did you miss the whole ‘I-hate-humans’ bit?

Vash x Meryl

Meryl: I love you.
Vash: I would to, except you look like Rem. And there’s no way in Hell I’m marrying my childhood idol. That’s like incest!!!
Meryl: You don’t mind Knives though.
Vash: …That’s different

Meryl x Knives

Meryl: I love you despite the fact you’re a murdering psychopath who wants to wipe out all life.
Knives: Did you also miss the whole I-hate-the-humans bit?

Tsume x Toboe

Toboe: Hey Tsume!
Tsume: Not interested.
Toboe: Please Tsume?
Tsume: Kid, you’re male. Plus, you’re underage.
Toboe: So?
Tsume: …

Roy x Ed

Roy: Hello Elric-kun *purrs*
Ed: …
Roy: I live to piss you off, but I’m attracted to you. How’s that?
Ed: …I was hoping for something more romantic.

Legato x Wolfwood (popular guy isn’t he?)

Legato: Hello. I wanna have sex with you.
Wolfwood: Not interested in psychic freaks that lick their own skin (A/N: He did this!!)
Legato: That’s fine. Non-con works wonders. *rapes him*

Legato x Midvalley

Legato: Why, hello Midvalley.
Midvalley: Legato…
Legato: *rapes him*
Midvalley: Could you at least warn me before you do that!
Legato: Sorry.

Spike x Vicious

Spike: How did this happen?
Vicious: The odd mysterious past that made me want to kill you.
Spike: I thought that was because of Julia?
Vicious: I tried to kill her. You think I’d go back to her?!
Spike: Good point.

Vicious x Gren

Vicious: I’m getting tired of this.
Gren: The mysterious past plot-bunnies strike back.

Hakkai x Gojyo

Gojyo: Hey.
Hakkai: Oh my God, the sexy playboy is hitting on me! I must submit!
Gojyo: …I just said hey…

Bladebreakers x OC

OC (or Mary/Angel/Joanne/Sam/Destiny/Aisha): I love you ‘cause I share that mysterious past that makes no sense at all.
Bladebreakers: Stay away from us!! *heads for the hills*

Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy

Harry: I know, I know. The hate = love formula, right?
Draco: Glad to know you’re quick on the uptake Potter

Harry Potter x Voldemort/Tom Riddle

Harry: …
Voldemort: My thoughts exactly Potter.

Harry Potter x Hermione

Harry: Am I really that easy?
Hermione: Well, you do have a whole series in your name.
Harry: …But seriously, am I really that easy?
Hermione: (sighs)

Harry Potter x Severus Snape

Harry: Isn’t this like…pedophilia?
Snape: If incest doesn’t deter them, do you think this will?

Harry Potter x Lucius Malfoy

Harry: Didn’t you attack me with a cane in the second movie?
Lucius: (drawls) Why Potter, I didn’t know you were so kinky.
Harry: …Isn’t this still pedophilia?
Lucius: Yes unfortunately. You being Draco’s age doesn’t help either.

Kenren x Tenpou:

Tenpou: Well, they already think we’re sleeping together, so who’s there to stop us?
Kenren: I like the way you think.

Shuuei x Sanzo:

Shuuei: The author going through her pedophilia streak, isn’t she?
Sanzo: Don’t even go there.

Gonou x Kanan:

Kanan: (dead)
Gonou: …kinda defeats the purpose…

Hakkai x Yaone:

Hakkai: Yaone, I love you because you act like my previous lover who killed herself because she was raped and impregnated by a youkai. Oh, and I am a mass murderer.
Yaone: (not even paying attention) Kougaiji-sama…

Kougaiji x Yaone:

Yaone: Kougaiji-sama…
Kougaiji: Yaone…
Yaone: Kougaiji-sama…
Kougaiji: Yaone…
Lirin: I think I’m going to be sick…

Goku x Lirin

Goku: Wanna get some nikuman?
Lirin: I love you!
Goku: …okay. Wanna get some nikuman?

I feel the urge to post fics. Why? I'm bored, simple enough. Stuck with my parents for the vacation (and the rest of my life) doesn't sound very nice.

  • (no subject)

    My parents have been back for what, a day? And they have succeeded in making me feel terrible. Now everything is making me feel terrible.

  • (no subject)

    Me at Uni = Ahiru at Ballet EXCEPT I'M WORSE. Oh depression how I have not missed you.

  • The Adventures of Timmy and her Dick-headed Teachers

    Head Teacher: Kay you're in charge of the French board. Me: ... but I have nothing to do with the French department. Head Teacher: Tough. HAVE IT…

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