water seeping

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I got borncaptain!! I know everyone is supershocked by this turn of events!! I mean, I certainly didn't start plan on it the minute the last counselor round closed. Not me, nooo. ... yeah okay, shut up, I stressed, I cried, I couldn't sleep because of this week. I've never been so glad that's over guys. So glad. Also I was geeky enough to hunt around LJ to get Kirk a moodtheme. sob.

I didn't think that as soon as I got him and start playing him, I'd be hit by the insecurity blues. It was a very weird and uncomfortable feeling for me and it got me even when I was playing Dean and Oz. I guess it's just nerves? too much excitement? A COMPLETE AND UTTER LACK OF SLEEP THIS WEEK? Who knows? I just feel insecure about everythiiiiiiiiiiing and god, I have so many awesome people around me, what if I fuck up badlyyyyy ahh. I guess the pressure of playing ~populah~ characters is finally hitting me. (I can just. never equate that phrase to me. It makes me confuzzled)

And Microoooo, what do I do about you? I'm pretty sure I'm apping Dean there (don't hit me katy I'll do tomorrow really ;;) and there's no force in the universe that can tell me not to app Thom, my clueless gay porno guy there. I've been wanting to play him for agessssss and telrunya,the light of my life is apping Damian and we'll start a gay club in micro and sob I'm excited for it :(. At least I dropped Shawn. That was a terrible apping decision. Even if he was pretty.

NOW IN OTHER NEWS. Deleted Scenes from "No Man Has Gone Before". I'm amused by the probing introduction. I should rewatch that episode (maybe Gary will appear in the movie!! and have lots of homoerotic subtext with kirk!! And Spock will run around with a giant gun!! god I love Trek ;;)
  • Current Mood: cynical cynical
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  • 30 comments
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    haeralis
    OH GOD I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL about the insecurity blues. ;;b I'm consoling myself right now with Saïx by remembering that I felt similarly super insecure after I apped Gale and Naoto. And I played Gale for a year, and Naoto is my second primary. So I'm hoping I just need to hurdle through things and not worry so much, which is hard to do at the very beginning with a character you're really into. :|b
    telrunya
    . . . H-HONEY. I was also freaking out kind of hard over playing Spock in CFUD before going to bed a couple of hours ago, BECAUSE I'M SO AFRAID OF DOING SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM. So I think I completely feel you. I mean, you know how frustrated I was because I typo'd a word in one of Spock's threads.

    BUT YOU'RE AMAZING, and I've stalked you enough so I feel like I can say it. I don't mind doing it every day until you feel better, and you know I'm always here for you. AND YES, WE WILL APP THEM AND BE SHAMELESS. I'm sorry Shawn didn't work out, I feel like this is my fault because I enabled you. ;;
    bromantic
    I WAS THE ONE WHO TYPED TRICORDER INSTEAD OF COMMUNICATOR. A part of my soul cried and I imagined that RPS would mock me throughly ;;.

    And the Shawn thing is cool, really. WE WILL HAVE THOM AND DAMIAN. And thank you for the support ;; ♥
    telrunya
    WE'RE STILL AWESOME AND YOU WERE HANDLING SEVERAL THREADS HONEY, people should understand that or I will kick them hard in the face. But I imagined that as well, this almost makes me laugh. ;;

    I hope so, I'm still really sorry though. YES, I DON'T CARE IF WE'RE JUDGED. You're more than welcome, I just want you to feel better. ♥ [loves on]
    _lmn_
    Sweetie you are awesome and I only hope to be half as awesome as you and Spock because I have wanted castmates FOREVER and this is like the happiest week of my life. ♥

    Seriously, you're doing awesome and I love you lots. ♥
    apology
    Don't feel insecure; you're an AMAZING rper & I adore playing with you!
    wonderseal
    ...Not my Damian.


    I hope.


    ANYWAY. Yeah you're amazing and no one doubts your phenomenal playing skills.
    thawrecka
    You are amazing at playing Kirk, muffin. Worry not. (Really the solution is to app characters most people aren't particularly interested in and then play only to entertain yourself... or that could just be what I do.)
    bromantic
    Well, that's what... I do, really. It's only recently that the characters I play... are characters people are well-acquainted with?
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