water seeping

(no subject)

So, if anyone is bothering to read my twitter beyond spamming it with live-reactions to old Trek episodes, I've been going through the normal paranoia feelings of sucking. The thing is, I know they're not true! But it has been accumulating of late and I can't really stop feeling it despite my very own logical understanding that it's not true. I know I don't suck! Yet I keep feeling that I do! Can you see why this is ridiculously frustrating and tedious?

Sabra scares me. It honest to god terrifies me and I never know what I'm going, am I stepping on people, I barely make it in time for games because I live on the other side of the world, I don't know. I am enjoying it but that doesn't make me any more ... comfortable with it. It's very different from any other RP I've ever been in! Mostly it's me trying to get a grip with it and honestly not settling in or not settling well, sob I'm not making sense anymore.

And idk my bff cfud, I feel completely out of the loop lately with everything and though I'm slowly pulling myself back in, I just feel irrational and upset and judgemental over everything I do and finding it harder and harder to tell myself that it's okay, I'm cool, if there was a problem someone would tell me and so on.

God, guys. I just wish I knew what the fuck was wrong with me.

  • Current Mood: uncomfortable uncomfortable
I hope you had fun with last night's game :? I think you guys did really awesomely. Though I know that feeling. It took me forever to settle with Sabra.

Re: CFUD, lol me too :(
I did! I'm just have those paranoid flipflops of doing it wrong ahhh.

CFUD at least, is a comfort thing for me.
Normally, I'm pretty okay! But lately, these moods have been getting worse and worse (I had a really bad one just a month ago?) so I'm just sort of upset with myself :x
Yeahhh, I just have to get used to that, I suppose. IT'S TRICKY.

♥ I should ping you to play with me more. I love playing with you. And thank you so much.
I've been very apathetic towards everything for the past several days so in a way I can understand the feeling about CFUD in general, but I don't think there's something wrong with you. Probably it'd help if you do something different with your characters? Something crazy? I WISH I HAD AN AMAZING ANSWER BUT YOU'RE COMPLETELY AWESOME AND WONDERFUL, so don't forget that honey.
If I did something crazy, I'm sure my nerves would hit sky-high. But it's a suggestion worth taking! I just ... need to fit into a comfort zone, mostly, I think.

Thank you honey ♥
re: CFUD
I. I feel like it's a plague or something. If it makes you feel better, I feel the same way too about being out of the loop. But that's mostly because I haven't had the motivation to play lately 8( So it's not just you.

But no matter what YOU DO NOT SUCK. You are amazing and awesome and don't ever think you're not.

H-hahaha. T-to be honest, I'm being really awkward about CFUD lately because fffff. I will admit that I just have fallen out of the loop and it's been hard to get back into it. Though I am trying with my one character.

As for Sabra, what katmaxwell said is the best advice I can give. I KNOW I'M AN AWKWARD DUCK AROUND YOU b-but that's only because I'm also kind of going, "Oh God, this character and these things and fffffffff /)(\" But yes. IF YOU EVER HAVE QUESTIONS OR NEED AN UPDATE ON WHAT'S GOING ON IN SABRA, LET ME KNOW. The scheduling is all wonky and whatnot and I know how that is since I had to be on eatern-hemisphere time for a while, but. Yeah.

Idk if that helps but ♥♥♥ I THINK YOU'RE DOING FAB.
Poking people usually works ♥ I'm always up for playing with you babe.

Really? I... hadn't really noticed. I love playing with you and I adore the relationship between Cara and Dean. You are fab dear and I sincerely mean that ♥. And I will pester you if I feel out of the loop, so thank you for that ♥
Sabra can be hard! But I think you're doing it right, for what it's worth. If you ever want to have another person to babble at, my gchat is open to you.*

* offer void for the next hour while I have dinner
I felt the same way about Sabra, and still do a lot of the time. But I've found that everyone is really willing to explain stuff, especially your team. And now that there's no mandatory game limit, I know I am going to chill out more. I didn't often make it to those either because they start at silly o'clock and last for hours.

I would give advice about CFUD but my relationship with it lately is like... looking at a poster from across the road :x.
I haven't felt like I really know what's the happening things in CFUD for three years now. XD If there is a loop, I'm not in it. Please know, that I stalk the heck out of your threads, so from my point of view you generate/are part of some of the most entertaining storylines in the game.
I haven't been in a loop in CFUD for a while.

I'm convinced there IS no loop, and thus nobody is in it.

Re: Sabra everything is diamonds.