water seeping

(no subject)

Okay, I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while. So here it is.

In truth, I love my parents. I do. But I am also very, very scared of my father. And I have reason to be. When I was around two and below, my father used to drink and smoke. And he was never very pleasant when he did either. And you know those stories where the child gets abused by their parent? Beated and what not? well, I have actually experienced it.

I still love my father, but when he gets angry it's hard to forget what happened before. And I freeze up and I shake all over. My dad used to beat me with a whip. My brother gets scared too, but he was never at the receiving end of that whip.

when I was on vacation, my dad misplaced his wallet. He shouted at everyone, threatened to make me and my brother sleep outside (in front of his friend's family) and began cursing at everyone. When he found it, my brother started crying and I did too.

I can't remember much about what it felt like to be beated. I remember the fear, the presence of his anger always lurking behind my mind. I remember he nearly beat me with a slipper. I know he tells me that he's changed and he'll never do it again. But the fear is there and so is the anger.

(sighs) Must check out colleges and what not. Also, the damn MMORPG won't work!
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Neither of my parents were ever all that bad, but I did get beaten on occasion, when they lost their tempers, with me or with each other. I think we all get scared when our parents get angry... personally I'm more scared when they get angry at each other than at me (when I was younger, they fought all the time and dad was always threatening to divorce mom)
I know how you feel, my friend from elementary school was also beaten by her dad too.

Sometimes when I really do something that I shouldn't have, my mom would pull my hair and slap me...it's mainly come from my mom, why is why I have to get good grades or ELSE...bleh but my dad actually has lots of patience, but he's yelled at me a few times, and it scared the crap outta me, because its something that I never saw in my dad.

Timmy, have you tried talking to your dad about how his behavior scares you? Have you talked with any other family member about his behavior (if you didn't talk to your dad about it)?

It terrifies me when my parents fight because, like Angy's parents, they scream and fight about divorce and it hurts.

Anywhoo, reply to this if you can...I'd like to hear back from you just to make sure that you're okay.

Lots of Love

RC
I've never told them. I think they know, at any rate. My parents do get angry at each other, but it's never serious. Thank god for that.
ah...I never really talk about it with my parents either...I'm scared that they'll blow up about it, but yeah...like today, my mom threw a fit about the shirt I wore today, but yeah...

it's nice to hear from ya! ^____^

RC
To say: 'I know how you feel' would be nothing but a lie, coming from me. I really don´t. But I can imagine that you´re afraid.
I´ve never recieved a real beating. My father was always patient with me. Yeah he yells sometimes but I brush that of. Everyone has a bad day occasionally and he is no exception. The only time he really hit me for nothing was when I went to the bathroom and the door closed with a bang. But that wasn´t my fault because the window was open and the wind blew outside. So when I came out my Dad slapped me really hard so that I fell down and yelled that I shouldn´t smash the door or something like that.

I glared at him and yelled back that it wasn´t my fault but he just turned around and wouldn´t listen. Well, ...I wouldn´t be me if he got away that easily. Yeah, I´m a disrespectful, devious, vengeful, little bitch. So I went to my room and destroyed the necklace that he gave me for my birthday. It has a little, golden plate with my Zodiac sign on it and with my birthday date engraved and the back.

I knew it meant a lot to him. And that´s exactly why I ripped it apart.

The next day when he woke up he wanted to apologize I could see it in his face. But that was before he saw the broken necklace on the table. After that, he looked like a kicked puppy but said nothing at all. I swear I was inwardly laughing hysterically when I saw his face. From then on he never even dared to lay a finger on me. So, nobody messes with the 'Master of the Middle Finger'. The result in hitting me was that I got stubborn and some would even say evil. But I don´t care. It worked. So what? Nobody should be afraid of another human least of all their parents. If you cannot copy with your own parents how will you survive in a world full of strangers? Don´t be scared of your father Timmy because in the end he´s just human as well. Not a monster or something like that.